As a user, it’s not really ads that I dislike, it’s annoying or ads. That’s any ad that blinks, animates, scrolls, or otherwise tries to unduly get my attention other than just being there for me to look at if I feel like it.
I pretty much never click on ads, even the reasonable ones, because I don’t trust where that re-directs me, I don’t want more data gathered about me, and I don’t want to have advertisers who I don’t trust get the desired result.
I would actually be more likely to click on ads if the product seems interesting to me if I know the ad has been vetted by the web site according to the structural rules like what @Lundin posted above. I think his content controls are largely unnecessary, since if the ad is guaranteed to be honest, then the content is what it appears to be, and I can judge that for myself.
With this kind of ad curation, the ads also become more valuable to the advertisers, so the site can charge a higher fee than junk ads would fetch. This seems like a win - win - win, for the advertisers, the site, and the users. I would actually find the right kind of ads useful.
Lots of people will be too lazy to specifically opt in. I would therefore make ads enabled by default, but with a clear opt-out checkbox at account signup and always available in your profile. I would certainly not find that obnoxious, and deliberately leave ads enabled if I knew they were being properly curated.
The message at signup would be something like: While this site is free for you to use, it is not free for us to operate. We offset that expense by selling advertising. All ads on this site are curated according to <link to policy>. We hope that you agree to receiving ads. However, if you do not, we respect your wishes. You will not be shown ads if you click the No Ads button below.